Breastfeeding HURTS REALLY BADLY (for the first 2+weeks)!

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Ok, it's only the first 2-3 weeks that hurts, but no one told me, so I want to tell you. Maybe for some people, poor latch or whatever can cause pain. But you know what? Correct positioning can also hurt! I consider myself tough, really tough. I'm a mom of twins, after all. I'm the mom of a child with Special Needs. I haven't slept soundly in about 5 years & when i am sick, I have to still function and I get no time off. I'm tough as nails.

BUT BREASTFEEDING brought me to tears...about 12x a day.

When I was in the hospital, I started nursing within 30 minutes of birth. I continued trying & at least 4 times a day, a LC would come in and view my 'positioning' and 'latch' and all that and tell me "GREAT JOB!". I was there 4 days and on the 3rd day, things began to really hurt. I asked for evaluation after evaluation and they all said "Bravo!" I knew it was right. My milk was coming in and Harper was doing great. Then I went home and things just got worse and worse.

I began to dread feeding time - dread it bad. It got so bad that I would bite a pillow throughout the entire ordeal. Sometimes I cried. I was so glad that no one saw me & that I was nursing in privacy of our guest bedroom. It was so awful. After a few days of excruciating agony, I called the hospital, looking for a LC. I spoke to one, explained everything & she said that latch and positioning sounded great. She recommended that I see my Pediatrician's LC. I didn't know he had one, but he did! I got into see her and she went thru everything and again, "It all looks great!" She felt that my nipples were a little beat up, but not too bad. She recommended and brought me a nipple shield. It helped a little. I went home feeling a little more confident.

The best thing I had going for me was that Harper was and is a VERY efficient eater. Most of the time, she was done in 10 minutes. Bless her sweet heart! I would only have to endure the razor blades (that's seriously what it felt like) for just about 10 minutes at a time (up to 12x per day and night!).

At home I tried the nipple things and though they were awkward, they helped a little. However, it slowed Harper down. Instead of filling up in 10 minutes, it was taking 20-25. Now, given that she ate every 2 hours or so, this was rediculous. I decided to buck up, grit my teeth, put on my big girl panties, bite my pillow and surely, someday the pain would lesson. Surely! I tried to explain the agony to my Aunt. She could empathize with the 'latch' pain - you know, how it hurts for the first 20 seconds or so. Well, multiply that times 100 and make it last 10 minutes and maybe that's how it felt like. I tried explaining to my mother, but she hadn't been able to BF and just couldn't imagine at all.

I googled and looked up so many things. I read about some gel pads that could help. I bought them and they maybe helped a teensy bit, but they hurt to remove. Oh, then engorgement began. Though it only lasted a few days, it felt like an eternity! I didn't think I'd survive. I took lots of hot showers and sent my husband to the store for cabbage leaves. They seemed to have helped but then I caught one of the boys eating a used one and I couldn't put them on anymore!

I did learn on google that it was a good idea to just nurse on 1 side per feeding and that would give the other side a nice break. This was nice. It did seem to help a little too. The razors and agony still existed but only for 1 side per feeding.

Finally, I stumbled upon this blog:

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2007/09/extreme-agonizing-torturous.html


This blog saved my sanity, it truly did. I read this blog and also emailed a friend of mine about the same time. To my friend, I said, "I thought this breastfeeding business was supposed to be easy, natural and painfree??!!". Her response was, "The first 15-18 days is HELL, but it becomes so painfree, easy and a BLESSING- hang in there.....it gets sooo bad before it gets better- like y ou want to throw the baby across the room..." This is coming from the calmest, sweetest, most loving mother imaginable. She hasn't a violent bone in her body and this was her description. Come ON, Kelly Mom or whatever. Why doesn't that site mention this stuff? I asked my friend why she didn't tell me. She said that honestly, what if she'd told me and I didn't have the pain? What if it hadn't been painful for me and she had scared me with her story? I would have thought her nuts...possibly.

Anyway, I blogged this so that others can hopefully stumble on this and read that pain is NORMAL and it may not be the stinking latch.

Weigh in at home

Tomorrow Harper will be 12 weeks old! My how time flies...

Harper weighs 5.8kg or 12lbs12oz. According to infantchart.com, this is about the 70%ile. She's stayed here pretty steadily, despite the Pedi's nurse saying she was in the 90%ile for weight.

Harper's Hands

At 11 weeks tomorrow, it seems my baby is growing up! She has found her hands and will suck on her fist when she loses her pacifier (smart girl!). Oh yes, I may be breastfeeding but I love the pacifier. I gave it to her as soon as we got home from the hospital. Heck, I asked for a pacifier in the hospital 2 hours after birth. She was dying to suck and I wasn't doing her much good. Crazy hospital quit giving them out on April 1! thanks for letting us all know. They say it's to promote more breastfeeding - I'm guessing "Budget Cuts". Of course, after seeing all the bills coming in from the birth, I don't see how they have budget issues.

I digress, for the last 2 days, Harper has been awesome. As soon as she decreases activity and acts a little tired, I have taken her to her crib - wide awake - and laid her down. She seems so happy to be there and just closes her eyes and goes to sleep. And have I mentioned that I am breaking the "Back to Sleep" law and letting her sleep on her tummy? Well, I am. I slept that way and so did the boys. Though I now sleep on my back, I don't see how a baby can enjoy that and she hasn't.

I think it's amazing that 2 weeks ago, she hardly slept anywhere but right next to me or in the sling. Now, she's sleeping in her crib so well. This is bittersweet. Of course, I know it could all change tomorrow :).